It’s been two years since I typed in this blog last. Life kicked me in the ass for a bit–I had to leave my school program for a while. I worked in a work environment that taught me about being faceless, and being mindful of myself.
I dragged through despair. I flew threw joy.
And when I restarted my career path, I had to let go of what was easy, and acknowledge what is coming will be hard. I’m being cryptic, I know. To put more details on here would give too much away of things that need to be private.
What I do want is a place to open up and vent the emotions of what I couldn’t say. Professionally, my day job is with children. Sometimes, it feels like I’m not allowed to show anything like fear, doubt, worry, or frustration. Which means it builds up, my patience hiding it all like a dam, the emotions piling up around my head.
Well, I’m doing something for me: watching a movie. Prometheus. Michael Fassbender is a sexy man and a sexy actor. Even though it’s almost one in the morning and the movie has just started, I needed to do something for myself. Drank a Mike’s Hard Black Cherry, while gaming with friends.
Sometimes I feel that my job bites and tears at me, and that I’m not allowed to say that it hurts.
There’s still The Story to be written. I’m praying, PRAYING, that I don’t lose it because of working so hard.
I read my words, and I think of the opposite: that if I don’t write The Story, then it will die beneath all my work.